An unsual solitary moment within a world in turmoil....
Amid the oppressing humidity, despite the heated, torrential downpour I took foot upon a familiar running circuit over the mountain to ease the turmoil within myself. Shallow, barely present trails had become channels for the deluge and each footfall in climb and in descent was calculated, my eyes constantly seeking the next rock to stabilise the pace...
Unfathomable floods and shattering fires, random senseless shootings and abhorrent acts of violence, I take road on this day on foot to relieve the tension I take up in the task I am here to do (as I often do). Each coursing rivulet of sweat takes with it the toxin of stress that does not serve me. Today is indeed a disturbing day. A run in the rain, often silent and solitary, is fine retreat.
As is common in my experience of life, I often have butterflies land upon me (no doubt related to the work I do in healing) so as the cloud of butterflies began to build about me, even as I ran, at first I wasn't disturbed. Rising from the very earth that sheltered them they took flight deliberate in their intent to draw to the runner.
An iridescent glitter began to dot and decorate the increasing cloud building about me as dragonflies, coming from it would seem nowhere, joined the chaotic throng. An unlikely coupling. And as such a quiet disturbance took root within...
I slowed to a walk, curious, and sure enough the butterflies started to take claim upon my flesh.
Not sure if this was uniform through the bush, perhaps many insects were behaving so, I quickly sprinted forward, finding that this kaleidoscope veil was isolated and focused about me... and rapidly caught up. I quickly returned to pace but ...something deep within stirred more unsettled.
Why were they seeking me like this?
On this when so many are suffering.
On this day when so many are bracing for an unknown but given horror.
On this day when a world is struggling to feel safe are they too seeking comfort?
This deliberate entry upon my path did seem a search for reassurance.
Only when I saw a dragonfly stutter in his flight did I consider that it was indeed pouring with rain. It had been consistently the whole way, cascades from my cap, rivers meandering the length of my limbs...
I have never seen such creatures endure the rain before. Running in the rain is solitary not just in those you may come across but in all creature, sounds, visually you are shrouded...
Not this day.
Desperation was clear in their actions but not in their language.
A warning? An attempt to comfort?
As my foot hit tarmac, almost home on my circuit, this gifted veil lifted from me remaining in boundary of bushland. I stopped and turned, my rhythm broken by this sudden shift. Rising and gently dispersing they rapidly disappeared...
and without knowing why, my own tears began to fall, heavy, burdened, lost and unheeded amongst the confusion of the solid rain.
What did I miss? They braved an atmosphere dangerous to them, life threatening, to desperately accompany me...and I missed it.
I do not know the message. I did not hear the communication. I would hope the solace they were seeking was found even briefly but I fear perhaps not.
For myself the weight of all that is happening, of all calling for help and assistance is heavier upon my return...
My friends, give light whenever you can, because you can, in these unfathomable times.
Know gratitude that you can share this much.
For we are still here on this day
Melissa Hocking
